Ch. 16. - The Parties Begin

Ch. 16 - The Parties Begin

November 29, 2007

A lot has happened since my last entry. As far as chemotherapy and its side effects, they got worse before they got better. By the time Friday rolled around, the diarrhea worsened as well as the nausea. That afternoon while I was at work, I just could not do it anymore and left 2 hours early just to go home and crash!! That evening was rough, I could not even tell you how many times I visited the bathroom that night!! By the morning, I could not believe that there was anything left in my body to come out, but somehow, my body found a way. At about 9:00 am Saturday morning, I found a new problem!!! I think it is a hemorrhoid!! I have never had one before, but I know that something is there, that I am not able to sit on my behind, and wiping after using the bathroom has brought me to tears. So.... my husband went to CVS and bought Preparation H, baby wipes, tucks pads, Imodium AD, and miscellaneous other items, anything to make his wife more comfortable. It was a miserable experience. After suffering for the whole day and diarrhea continuing, I finally called a nurse friend of mine to ask her what she recommended me to do. She said that I needed to go to the ER. She said that I might be getting dehydrated and that I needed someone to look at the problem area for pain management issues. So off we go, to the ER for rectal pain. By this time, it was about 8:30 pm on Saturday night. They finally called me back after only about 30 minutes of waiting. They drew blood and started me on IV fluids. When the doctor came in, he took a look at the problem and stated that I had a thrombosed hemorrhoid!! A WHAT!!! He also stated that it would require surgery... SURGERY!!! I had read about this on the Internet over the course of the day, but had no idea that at this time during feeling so bad that I would have to have something else done to me!! He stated that he could do it in the ER, but that it would be very uncomfortable and painful so he recommended for me to follow up with my surgeon the next week. I knew that I could not wait that long and asked him is he would just do ahead and take care of it. He really did not want to, I mean who would, but he finally agreed. So here we go... first a painful shot to numb me, then another painful slice of the scalpel, another shot to help finish the numbing, and the rest was just a feeling of pressure. Throughout the whole procedure, I was white knuckled, clinching my husband's hands. And finally, the torture was over. Immediate relief was felt. Although bleeding and burning remained even after I got home, I was just so excited to be able to sit up!!! The next day, Sunday, I slept the entire day. I think the trauma and all of the morphine followed by hydrocodone finally caught up with me, as well as the side effects of chemotherapy. Come Monday, I made it to work though with tucks pads in my purse and neosporin in hand. It was an interesting day, but by this time, the side effects of the chemotherapy were beginning to wear off and I was beginning to feel like Jennifer again!!! For dinner on Monday I actually ate my first meal, a bean and cheese burrito from Taco Bell. The spicy food really helps get rid of the metal taste in my mouth, at least temporarily!!!

On Monday, November 12, I took my last dose of Letrozole. My estrogen levels had finally dropped back down to normal. This meant no more visits to Dr. Michelle Evans, at least until we get to thaw out our frozen embryos and try to have a baby, but this will be several years down the road. That call is completely up to my oncologist. So we will see.

This Monday was for some reason very stressful to me. I think the trauma of the weekend really caught up with me emotionally. And when you show up for work, no one knows what you have been through. It was very weird because you expect an easy day, but your work day is normal, and even worse because it is a Monday, left over items from the weekend. I broke down and made an appointment with EAP. I spoke to Frank Mazzola for about an hour and he helped me put this in perspective and also reminded me to take it easy on myself. He encouraged me to join a support group as well and taking it easy and doing enjoyable activities when I feel up to it. He stated that this would help avoid depression. I also went to my OBGYN later today and had a follow-up pap smear and a post-op check from my emergency room experience. He said that everything was healing and looked clean. This helped me feel a little more at ease as well, because the last thing that I wanted at this point was an infection. Having an infection during this time is actually pretty easy since my immune system is compromised, but he told me that at this point I did not need antibiotics, it should heal fine on its own.

On Thursday, November 15, 2007, I enjoyed a Thanksgiving dinner with my coworkers at While Memorial Medical Center. It was a nice time to relax and enjoy each other's company. Also, my friend, Barbara had gone into Labor earlier today and had been admitted to Labor & Delivery. I made this announcement at the dinner and everyone was very happy. At about 6:30 pm she called me and asked me it I wanted to see the birth!?! I told her I would love to. She said that I had about 20 minutes to get up to her room. Luckily I was still at work and finished up in a hurry and went straight to her room. The baby was born at 7:08 pm. What a beautiful experience. I made me very thankful for life and reminded me what is important, friends, health, life and love!!!

On Friday, November 16 2007, we celebrated Pink Day at the ADHC, my other place of employment. It is an Alzheimer's Facility with about 40 participants per day. They are all very precious!! On this day, they made pink ribbon pins out of pink felt paper and when I arrived at work, they had already finished them and everyone was wearing them. All of my coworkers were dressed in pink and they had raised $5.00 each for the Susan Koman Foundation. It was such a touching experience. We also topped off the event with a pizza party. We had a good time.



The next day, Saturday the 18th, my same co-workers from the ADHC center, threw a party for me, a hair cutting party. They had put so much work into this event. The main goal of the party was to have my hair cut really short because it had started to thin and I did not want to watch it fall out every day. Another goal was to encourage people with long hair to donate their hair to charity. For Locks of Love, you have to have 8 inches of non-dyed hair and for Wigs for Kids, you can donate dyed hair, but you have to donate 10 inches. Out of 20 people, we had 4 people donate their hair. This was such a beautiful experience. I was the one that got to cut off the ponytails for the donation and then the hair stylist gave this a nice style. BUT for the return favor, everyone at the party got to have a chance at using the buzz cutter to shave off my hair. I chose a No. 3 for a nice crew cut. It was a very fun time, and I actually liked the outcome of my hair cut. My head is nice and round and but cut does not look bad at all, I even had some people say that is was sexy, AND Clayton like it too!! So the event was a win-win for everyone!!!



The next week I started to feel more like myself. My hair was continuing to fall out slowly, but the side effects of the chemotherapy were wearing off. No more nausea, GI upset, just the metal taste in my mouth. I began to regain my strength and did not fatigue as easily, but bedtime was definitely by 9:30 pm every night. On Thursday, Thanksgiving, Clayton and I flew home to Georgia to be with family and also for my "Celebration of Life" party planned for the 24th. When we arrived, we were greeted by my parents. It was so great to see them. This was the first time I had seen them since I had been sick!!! The last time they had seen me was in March when we all took a trip together. I think my Mom gave me 3 big hugs as soon as she saw me. It was great to feel her arms around me. After the airport, we celebrated Thanksgiving at the Cracker Barrel. The food was great. And we also shopped for hats in their gift shop. I wound up the 2 new hats to cover my head, the weather in Georgia is cold!!! Later that evening we celebrated Thanksgiving with my sister-in-law and her family. It was great to see them as well.

When I woke up on Friday morning and took my shower, my hair was falling out like crazy!! It was all over my hands, the towel, the shower, and my body. I could not get rid of all of it even to get dressed!!! I told my husband and he gave me a closer buzz cut, a No. 1. We hoped that this would help, the hair would be even shorted and less noticeable than at a No. 3. It also helped make the bald spots not as noticeable as well. But from this time on, I will definitely always have on a hat or scarf, my hair is really short, and my almost bald head stays really cold!! After my hair cut, we went over to my grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner with my family including my aunt, grandparents, cousins all on my mother's side, as well as my sister and her family. This was a very joyous time. Her daughter is now 6 years old, smart and beautiful. Her son is 16 months old and starting to crawl and even pull up on the sofa. It was precious getting to spend this day with them.

The next morning, my head was very sensitive to wearing caps. The stubble left from the No. 1 was not very comfortable when it would be stuck on the threads of the caps, scarves, and boggins. So... once again, I am getting another hair cut. This time with a straight razor. Clayton did this one for me as well. I was really crazy becoming bald, but when he got finished, my head felt so much better, NO MORE STUBBLE!!! Now I am ready to conquer the day.

It is now, Saturday, November 25th rolled around, the day of the party. We had invited so many friends and family to my best friends house, Katy Norman for this event. We though this would be a great time for everyone to get together, give my inspiration, and enjoy each other's company. It would be a good time to revisit the things that are important in life. At the party there was information provided regarding breast cancer, and well as breast cancer support pins and bracelets. By the time the party was over, the head count had reached 82 people!!! It was unbelievable. People including my mom's friends from work, friends of mine from the church where I grew up, other friends from differing periods in my life including grade school, high school, and college. Also included were my husband's family including his mom, sister's family, and his aunt, as well as friends of his from grade school. It was a blessed event, one that I will never forget.

The rest of the weekend was spend visiting friends and family. We flew back to Los Angeles, CA on Tuesday, November 27, 2007. The flight went well and now we are home sweet home.


Yesterday, Wednesday, November 28, 2007, I has my second chemotherapy treatment. So far I only have a little nausea and diarrhea. My face and chest are a little red, but otherwise unremarkable. We will see how the rest of the week and weekend go. My main goal is to stay out of the ER!!!

Thanks again for sharing my life with me through my blog. The support that you give me is incredible and a real life line. I continue to love you all!!!

Ch. 15 - Chemotherapy Begins

Ch. 15 - Chemotherapy Begins

The day finally arrived, Tuesday, November 6, 2007. I was so nervous. I took the day off from work and had to arrive at the infusion center at 9:30 am. The 2 drugs of choice by my oncologist are and will continue to be, Cytoxan and Taxotere. Although I view them as poison because they have the potential to make me very sick, but I also see them as my friends to help with my continue recovery against breast cancer. Although I was nervous, I was also excited in a way to have someone finally use my port-a-cath. It has felt like I had this big thing inserted in my chest and no one was using it. I had so many blood draws for the egg retrieval, none of which were taken from the port, and I was put under anesthesia for the actual retrieval procedure, but the anesthesiologist chose to run a IV line in my left thumb. So I is nice the the device to finally be used. When she first ran the line, I could not believe how big the needle looked that went into my port, but all I felt was the initial needle stick followed by a lot of pressure, but NO BURNING!!! I really liked that part!!!

My first dosing consisted of IV fluids, an antibiotic, and Benadryl. This concoction made me have to go the urinate, it seemed like every 15 minutes and the Benadryl made me very sleepy, but I was too nervous to sleep. I did paperwork for work, balance my checkbook, talked to Clayton and even tried to start reading a book, but the drugs finally won, and I took a nap. The infusion nurse, Josephine, told me when the chemotherapy drugs were starting, but I did not feel anything different, just continued to have to go to the bathroom due the all the fluids. I had on my regular clothes, but had to push the IV pole every time I had to go down the hall to potty. Clayton helped me each time since I was a little light-headed and sleepy, but NO FALLS, thank goodness.

The entire process took about 3.5 hours. During chemo they fed me a small lunch and made sure that I was feeling okay. Josephine told me that I may become nauseated, but to remember to take the medication that was prescribed for this and hopefully I would be fine, but if not, to give her a call. She did tell me that in about 2 weeks I would probably start to see my hair falling out or thinning, but this is a normal side effect.

After leaving the infusion center, I actually caught the last 30 minutes of a meeting at work. I was recently nominated to represent the rehabilitation department for the cancer panel at the hospital where I work. This was my first meeting and I at least wanted to make an appearance and general introduction. When I walked in, they could not believe I was there. Part of the counsel consists of my oncology team who new that I had chemo that same morning. Clayton waited for me and then I shared with him my excitement of being part of the panel. We will be meeting quarterly and I think it will be a good experience.

After the meeting, we went to the grocery store, and then home. I crashed on the sofa and the rest was history. I began to feel nauseated, but no vomiting or diarrhea. I feel very lucky and can't wait to go to sleep, having survived my first chemo!!!


Thursday, November 8, 2007

Well, the past 2 days have not been a lot of fun including indigestion and nausea with the onset of fatigue, diarrhea, and impaired concentration. My skin color is actually a little red in my face and my chest, so I will have the nurse check it out later. Most of my nursing friends tell me that I should start to feel better around next Wednesday, but for right now, that just seems way too far away, but all-in-all, I am still blessed to not have the severe side effects so far. I will keep you posted!!

Thank you for all of your thoughts, comments, and prayers!!! Clayton and I love you all!!

Ch. 14 - The Egg Retrieval

Ch. 14 - The Egg Retrieval

On November 1, 2007, I began taking the antibiotics that my doctor prescribed in preparation for the procedure. I have to take the medication twice daily, Doxycycline 100 mg. This was a good exchange, 2 pills in the place of 3 injections and 1 pill. NO MORE SHOTS!!!

I worked all day at my job on Thursday, the day before the retrieval. During the course of the day, everyone told me "good luck" and gave me all the best wishes along with hugs all day long. I have such supportive people in my life!! I also received a phone call back from my oncologist, Dr. Zhang today and gave me my first chemotherapy date, Tuesday, November 6, 2007. I am nervous, but also ready to get things started so that I can hopedully close this chapter in my life. Another important thing that happened today is that we finally figured out how the egg retrieval work, simply because Clayton has been working at the American Film Market who does not allow time off, so it has been challenging to figure out how to get sperm from him while he is at work?!?! But today, it all came together. Since my procedure is so early in the morning, he will take me, give his donation, and then leave me with Dr. Evans for the procedure. He will go to work and my friend Barbara will arrive at 7:00 am to take me home. She will also stay with me until I am feeling like I can be left alone.

So... this is it, as the say at the circus, "the moment we have all been waiting for". Friday, November 2, 2007, had arrived. We woke up early, I dressed for surgery (comfy clothes) and Clayton dressed for work. We arrived at the office at 5:00 am. By 5:30 am, I was on the operating table, and Clayton was giving his sample. The anesthesiologist, Dr. Smith (my maiden name), put me to sleep, and Dr. Evans performed her magic. We I woke up, she told be that she was able to retrieve 11 EGGS!!! I was so excited. I called Clayton as soon as I could focus enough to dial his number to let him know that I was okay and to tell him the good news, it had worked, and... we have the potential for 11 embryos!!! He was excited and glad to hear that everything had gone so well. He said it had been hard leaving me there in the office. This was the first time he would not be with me during a procedure. But, we made it. Barbara arrived and took me home. Dr. Evans told me that she would call me on Saturday to let me know how many embryos we were able to get, this would be the number that would be frozen on Monday, they allow 72 hours of growth time before freezing, if I understood her correctly.

Once I got home, I felt great... until the pain medication wore off that was given to me along with the anesthesia. By this time, Barbara had gone home to her family, and I was by myself. The cramps were terrible. I used a heating pad, deep breathing, hot water, relaxation, anything I could think of to help the cramps go away!! I finally had to call the office and they called me in some pain meds to the local pharmacy, Fairoaks Pharmacy, in Pasadena. After several hours passed, the cramps eased up enough to allow me to drive and pick up the pain medicine. I was supposed to take the medication with food, put I bought an orange juice on my way out and popped a pill with it. In about 45 minutes, the cramps were a little better. Thank goodness for good medicine when you need it. Clayton later arrived home from work, AFM, and we ate dinner together. He then helped me get ready for bed and off to sleep we went.

Well, I guess you call it sleep. I tossed and turned all night long. I think I saw every hour go by on the clock. It was so hard to get comfortable due to the cramps. But I made it. When Clayton got up for work the next morning, I got up to take another pain pill. The pill helped the cramping once again. Later this morning, November 3, 2007, Cynthia from HRC called me to tell me that out of the 11 eggs, they were able to prepare 8 embryos for freezing. WHAT GOOD NEWS!!! She told me that if I needed anything else from them, just to give them a call. She wished me the best of luck during my treatment and said that they would take good care of "our babies". This is very exciting and releiving!! I cannot wait to tell Clayton. So, now I am just taking it easy, taking to you guys and waiting for Clayton to come home. I don't know what we have planned, but it probably includes just taking it easy!!!

On Monday, I went to my follow-up visit with Dr. Evans for blood work and an ultrasound. I was very uncomfortable and having pain in my lower abdomen. On ultrasound, she showed me how big my follicles were which is the reason I am uncomfortable. She told me that after the retrieval, the follicle collapses, but then refills with blood. This blood can take 1-2 months to be fully reabsorbed by the body, GREAT!! And, she measured my follicle sizes, and they averaged 26 mm, much larger than they were upon retrieval!!! But, at least I now know why I am still so uncomfortable. At this visit, she also told me the final results of my embryo freezing, we have 8 in all. Four of them are 8 cell (the best), 2 of them are 5 cell, and 2 of them are 4 cell. It is very exciting to have this part of the process behind us.

She did later call me and tell me that my estrogen level remains high, at 631, so I am to resume the Letrozole and return to her office on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 7:30 am. I will keep you posted!!