CH. 28 - Good News Continues Overall
I don't know who out there is still following my blog, but it is therapeutic for me at times to reflect and get out my thoughts. Since my last entry a few things have changed. I followed up with my oncologist, rheumatologist, radiation oncologist, and gynecologist and the current decision is that it is not a safe option for me
to carry my own babies; the birth defects are severe and I continue to have some problems here and there. So for bad news, I have started on Embrel, one injection every Thursday, for my RA as well as taking 6 Methotrexate pills every Saturday. I also have had abnormal mammograms arise, but with the follow-up cone views and ultrasound, everything was normal. So... deep breath. Then I recently (in the past month) have had prolonged and heavy bleeding, 3 weeks worth, that is not my regular period, it started just a week after I finished my menstrual cycle. So an ultrasound revealed a possible polyp and a benign cyst on my right ovary. I followed up with my OBGYN yesterday and he said that since the bleeding is slowing down, he is not worried at this point, but if it continues again he will recommend an endometrial biopsy. Endometrial cancer can be a side effect of the Tamoxifen that I take for my breast cancer, go figure... And, the Embrel has a possible side effect of developing lymphoma. WOW!!! But for the good news, Clayton and I happened to watch a documentary "Google Baby" which highlighted the current outsourcing of surrogacy to India. We were inspired and are now in contact with the surrogacy clinic in India for starting the surrogacy process in January or February. So... maybe soon I will be telling all of you that our embryos have been shipped to India and have been implanted with success. Keep your fingers crossed for us!!!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Ch. 27 - I am still here!!
Ch. 27 - I'm still here!
It has been awhile since my last blog entry. I am now 2 1/2 years cancer free. I have been doing great with all of my check-ups, cancer related. As for my RA, not so good. I have now started Methotrexate and continue to receive cortisone injections when I need them. Our pet family has grown during this time too. We now have a new pit bull named Blue and another kitten named Scratch. I love being surrounded by so much love at home. I don't know who all continues to follow my blog, but I did want to give an update.
I have talked to my OB-GYN who stated that maybe I will be able to carry my own baby. He said that if my oncologist agrees, he does not think it will be a problem. AND, he said that I might could stop the Tamoxifen after 3 years so that we can get pregnant. However, I do not know what I will do about the arthritis medications!!!!! Too much to think about, but I am so thankful to have options and to have my 8 little embryos waiting on me. Life is good and I continue to appreciate all the support I have received. THANK YOU!!!
It has been awhile since my last blog entry. I am now 2 1/2 years cancer free. I have been doing great with all of my check-ups, cancer related. As for my RA, not so good. I have now started Methotrexate and continue to receive cortisone injections when I need them. Our pet family has grown during this time too. We now have a new pit bull named Blue and another kitten named Scratch. I love being surrounded by so much love at home. I don't know who all continues to follow my blog, but I did want to give an update.
I have talked to my OB-GYN who stated that maybe I will be able to carry my own baby. He said that if my oncologist agrees, he does not think it will be a problem. AND, he said that I might could stop the Tamoxifen after 3 years so that we can get pregnant. However, I do not know what I will do about the arthritis medications!!!!! Too much to think about, but I am so thankful to have options and to have my 8 little embryos waiting on me. Life is good and I continue to appreciate all the support I have received. THANK YOU!!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Ch. 26 - One Year After and Cancer Free!!!!
Ch. 26 - One Year After and Cancer Free!!!!!
Thank you to everyone who continues to follow my journey. I have officially reached the one year mark. My doctors tell me that your cancer free year mark starts with the month that the chemotherapy ended, as long as all the testing continues to be negative. I am really relieved to meet this point. It feels good to tell everyone and myself that I have been cancer free for one year. So for now, one year down and 4 to go for the Tamoxifen treatment. My hot flashes are improving and I do not wake up every night wet with sweat. That is a good thing for me and for my husband Clayton. When I first started the drug, the night sweats were terrible, and hot flashes in general, but this has improved.
As for my RA, my joints still bother me, but after a cortisone injection about 1-2 weeks ago in the index finger of my right hand, I am feeling better. Dr. Romano tells me that one of the RA drugs has been successful in post cancer patients, Embril, but he does not feel comfortable giving this to me yet since my RA is fairly controlled.
I do have a follow-up mammogram scheduled for March and do not anticipate any problems.
Clayton and I are looking forward to a New Year and wish all of you a great New Year as well. Take care and keep up all the support for the cancer patients out there and their journeys. Thank you for all your love and support!
Thank you to everyone who continues to follow my journey. I have officially reached the one year mark. My doctors tell me that your cancer free year mark starts with the month that the chemotherapy ended, as long as all the testing continues to be negative. I am really relieved to meet this point. It feels good to tell everyone and myself that I have been cancer free for one year. So for now, one year down and 4 to go for the Tamoxifen treatment. My hot flashes are improving and I do not wake up every night wet with sweat. That is a good thing for me and for my husband Clayton. When I first started the drug, the night sweats were terrible, and hot flashes in general, but this has improved.
As for my RA, my joints still bother me, but after a cortisone injection about 1-2 weeks ago in the index finger of my right hand, I am feeling better. Dr. Romano tells me that one of the RA drugs has been successful in post cancer patients, Embril, but he does not feel comfortable giving this to me yet since my RA is fairly controlled.
I do have a follow-up mammogram scheduled for March and do not anticipate any problems.
Clayton and I are looking forward to a New Year and wish all of you a great New Year as well. Take care and keep up all the support for the cancer patients out there and their journeys. Thank you for all your love and support!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Ch. 25 - My Ups and Downs
Ch. 25 My Ups and Downs
As expected, recovery has had its ups and downs. As mentioned in my last entry I had a bone scan done due to joint aches and pain as well as morning stiffness. The results are in, AND.... unbelievably I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have had this diagnosis for about 2 months now and still cannot believe it. My doctor started me on Plaquenil 10 mg. So far, it has helped and my dosage was just doubled last week due to continued joint pain and stiffness. I have spoke to many of my physician friends regarding having such bad luck, hoping that this could just be a misdiagnosis from just having chemotherapy and my system just being a little abnormal, but none of them could site any studies that could relate a new diagnosis of RA being a result of having chemotherapy. But, I have learned that several research studies have related chronic stress to both breast cancer and autoimmune diseases such as RA. So, I am really trying to learn to take is easy, but I continue to enjoy taking care of others and my job which contains a certain amount of stress. But I am learning that it is not the stress that is the problem, it is how a person reacts to the stress and how that person allows the stress to affect them. I do not know if this played a role in my situation, but I do know that I am a constant worrier and I do internalize a lot, such as worry for others and making sure everyone is happy, healthy, and taken care of. Who knows, but it is definately something to think about.
That was a down, so now for an up! My hair continues to grow back and it is very CURLY!!! I cannot wait to upload a current photo. I would upload one now, but I do not have a good recent photo, so I will have to take one. The color of my hair also is a little darker than it was before chemotherapy. But the curliness is really amazing. Some people told me that the same thing happened to their loved one after chemo, but not as curly as mine. It is really crazy. Sometimes I look in the mirror and have to remind myself that it really is me and my hair. And, it is thicker too! I really like having a fresh start with my hair. It is so healthy and shiny. It reminds my on my new beginning!
I have had many follow-up appointments in the past few weeks. About a month ago I had a real scare. I returned for my 6 month follow-up mammogram from the time of the end of radiation and the results came back abnormal, but not for my right breast, this time for my left!!! All I could think of when the doctor called me was "please not cancer again". At this point I was told to relax, that I needed a spot focus mammogram on my left breast for a closer look. Dr. Spencer-Smith told me not to worry until we have something to worry about. So a week later, I had the spot focus mammogram performed and then a few days later, the results came in. Something remained abnormal on the mammogram, calcifications were present with fibrotic changes since my last mammogram in August 2008. What ?!?!? When I found out, I tried to remain strong, but I cried. I was so scared. I know that I did jump the gun a little, but it was just so scary to even think about, cancer again, and in my healthy breast? I did not think that I had the strength to go through everything again if it were cancer. This abnormality also scared many of my physicians and medical friends and I informed them of the results and as they read my studies. The radiologist recommended a follow-up ultrasound and biopsy. Dr. Spencer-Smith was out-of-town at the time but his office did schedule me for the ultrasound, but I was told I had to wait one more week for the biopsy. When I shared this information with a very close physician friend of mine, he took me under his wing. He did not understand why I had to wait for the biopsy since we already knew that it was recommended. To make a long story shorter, Dr. Barrio, my angel, called my insurance company and got everything approved and ordered along with the help of my radiation oncologist, Dr. Grace. The ultrasound and biopsy was done on a Wednesday and the results were in by the following Monday. And... nothing to worry about. The biopsy results showed calcifications and fibrotic changes only, no malignant cancer cells were found. Thank goodness. Everyone was so relieved, but of course me most of all. What a scare. So for now, I just have another mammogram ordered for 6 months which will be in March 2009. So for now, we just wait and enjoy life again.
And to end on a good note, my mother completed the 3-day Cancer Walk in Atlanta this month. They raised thousands of dollars for breast cancer. She said that it was a life changing experience and one that she hopes to do again next year. What a great event. I will upload some photos from that event soon too! But for now, I will go (my fingers are tired and my wrist is sore). *On a side note, I had wrist surgery 3 weeks ago from an old work injury, so I am also recovering from that right now too. Truth be known, I just like to do everything at one time... just kidding! Thanks again for all of your support. Until next time.....
As expected, recovery has had its ups and downs. As mentioned in my last entry I had a bone scan done due to joint aches and pain as well as morning stiffness. The results are in, AND.... unbelievably I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have had this diagnosis for about 2 months now and still cannot believe it. My doctor started me on Plaquenil 10 mg. So far, it has helped and my dosage was just doubled last week due to continued joint pain and stiffness. I have spoke to many of my physician friends regarding having such bad luck, hoping that this could just be a misdiagnosis from just having chemotherapy and my system just being a little abnormal, but none of them could site any studies that could relate a new diagnosis of RA being a result of having chemotherapy. But, I have learned that several research studies have related chronic stress to both breast cancer and autoimmune diseases such as RA. So, I am really trying to learn to take is easy, but I continue to enjoy taking care of others and my job which contains a certain amount of stress. But I am learning that it is not the stress that is the problem, it is how a person reacts to the stress and how that person allows the stress to affect them. I do not know if this played a role in my situation, but I do know that I am a constant worrier and I do internalize a lot, such as worry for others and making sure everyone is happy, healthy, and taken care of. Who knows, but it is definately something to think about.
That was a down, so now for an up! My hair continues to grow back and it is very CURLY!!! I cannot wait to upload a current photo. I would upload one now, but I do not have a good recent photo, so I will have to take one. The color of my hair also is a little darker than it was before chemotherapy. But the curliness is really amazing. Some people told me that the same thing happened to their loved one after chemo, but not as curly as mine. It is really crazy. Sometimes I look in the mirror and have to remind myself that it really is me and my hair. And, it is thicker too! I really like having a fresh start with my hair. It is so healthy and shiny. It reminds my on my new beginning!
I have had many follow-up appointments in the past few weeks. About a month ago I had a real scare. I returned for my 6 month follow-up mammogram from the time of the end of radiation and the results came back abnormal, but not for my right breast, this time for my left!!! All I could think of when the doctor called me was "please not cancer again". At this point I was told to relax, that I needed a spot focus mammogram on my left breast for a closer look. Dr. Spencer-Smith told me not to worry until we have something to worry about. So a week later, I had the spot focus mammogram performed and then a few days later, the results came in. Something remained abnormal on the mammogram, calcifications were present with fibrotic changes since my last mammogram in August 2008. What ?!?!? When I found out, I tried to remain strong, but I cried. I was so scared. I know that I did jump the gun a little, but it was just so scary to even think about, cancer again, and in my healthy breast? I did not think that I had the strength to go through everything again if it were cancer. This abnormality also scared many of my physicians and medical friends and I informed them of the results and as they read my studies. The radiologist recommended a follow-up ultrasound and biopsy. Dr. Spencer-Smith was out-of-town at the time but his office did schedule me for the ultrasound, but I was told I had to wait one more week for the biopsy. When I shared this information with a very close physician friend of mine, he took me under his wing. He did not understand why I had to wait for the biopsy since we already knew that it was recommended. To make a long story shorter, Dr. Barrio, my angel, called my insurance company and got everything approved and ordered along with the help of my radiation oncologist, Dr. Grace. The ultrasound and biopsy was done on a Wednesday and the results were in by the following Monday. And... nothing to worry about. The biopsy results showed calcifications and fibrotic changes only, no malignant cancer cells were found. Thank goodness. Everyone was so relieved, but of course me most of all. What a scare. So for now, I just have another mammogram ordered for 6 months which will be in March 2009. So for now, we just wait and enjoy life again.
And to end on a good note, my mother completed the 3-day Cancer Walk in Atlanta this month. They raised thousands of dollars for breast cancer. She said that it was a life changing experience and one that she hopes to do again next year. What a great event. I will upload some photos from that event soon too! But for now, I will go (my fingers are tired and my wrist is sore). *On a side note, I had wrist surgery 3 weeks ago from an old work injury, so I am also recovering from that right now too. Truth be known, I just like to do everything at one time... just kidding! Thanks again for all of your support. Until next time.....
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Ch. 24 - My Journey Continues
Ch. 24 - My Journey Continues
It has been a while since my last post, but I have just been taking some time to myself and trying to reflect on the journey that I have been through. After my radiation ended and my port was removed, I think I thought that I was finished... meaning, if no more treatment, no more suffering, or anything, just returning to myself. As much as I want that to be true, it is not. Since my last entry, I have received counseling by a psychiatrist named Dr. Miklusak. He is great and has really helped me in my recovery period. He has helped me to learn to take one day at a time and also to listen to my body when it is telling me to SLOW DOWN and take a moment to myself. Since radiation ended in March and I began Tamoxifen in April, I have had some crazy things happen to my body. For one, I did get my period. And boy did I get it!!! I had it for 3 months straight, with only about 3 days, twice, without bleeding. It was a nightmare and all of my doctors just told me to be patient, that the Tamoxifen would begin to suppress my ovary function and my period would go away. Well, they were right, but 3 MONTHS LATER. After I did stop bleeding, it was questionable of if I still had ovary function or not. This was a good question to determine it my new copper IUD was causing such extraordinary bleeding or if my ovaries had just kicked in and in high gear!! So Dr. Spencer-Smith checked my FSH level. Well, the level indicated that my ovaries were working afterall. This is good and bad! Good because I am young and I am sure that my husband would appreciate my keeping my hormones (avoiding the effects of early menopause) and bad because it means that I have to keep the IUD. This was okay with me just as long as I did not have such long bleeding again. Since that day in his office, my cycle has actually been normal and light. This is a silver lining. This however does not mean that I will get to have a baby naturally or even carry my own, but it does mean that I have ovary function which will keep my bones healthy and prevent early osteoporosis.
In regards to the childbearing question. Well, I have found a surrogate which is great news and we are hoping to be able to try to make that happen in about 1 year from now. It is not recommended for me to carry my own child because of me being estrogen receptor and progesterone receptor positive. This is okay with me though, well at least today it is, as long as our baby is healthy. And remember we have 8 frozen embryos waiting on us!!! Some days though I am not as positive regarding this experience being taken away from me, but I really try to keep a positive outlook.
I did have a bone scan done last week but have not gotten the results. I do experience extreme fatigue and joint aches from time to time, but I am told to expect this for up to 1 year. So for now, I am just checking in with all my doctors about every 3 months and trying to keep my usual smile on my face.
Thank you again for your support, thoughts, and prayers.
It has been a while since my last post, but I have just been taking some time to myself and trying to reflect on the journey that I have been through. After my radiation ended and my port was removed, I think I thought that I was finished... meaning, if no more treatment, no more suffering, or anything, just returning to myself. As much as I want that to be true, it is not. Since my last entry, I have received counseling by a psychiatrist named Dr. Miklusak. He is great and has really helped me in my recovery period. He has helped me to learn to take one day at a time and also to listen to my body when it is telling me to SLOW DOWN and take a moment to myself. Since radiation ended in March and I began Tamoxifen in April, I have had some crazy things happen to my body. For one, I did get my period. And boy did I get it!!! I had it for 3 months straight, with only about 3 days, twice, without bleeding. It was a nightmare and all of my doctors just told me to be patient, that the Tamoxifen would begin to suppress my ovary function and my period would go away. Well, they were right, but 3 MONTHS LATER. After I did stop bleeding, it was questionable of if I still had ovary function or not. This was a good question to determine it my new copper IUD was causing such extraordinary bleeding or if my ovaries had just kicked in and in high gear!! So Dr. Spencer-Smith checked my FSH level. Well, the level indicated that my ovaries were working afterall. This is good and bad! Good because I am young and I am sure that my husband would appreciate my keeping my hormones (avoiding the effects of early menopause) and bad because it means that I have to keep the IUD. This was okay with me just as long as I did not have such long bleeding again. Since that day in his office, my cycle has actually been normal and light. This is a silver lining. This however does not mean that I will get to have a baby naturally or even carry my own, but it does mean that I have ovary function which will keep my bones healthy and prevent early osteoporosis.
In regards to the childbearing question. Well, I have found a surrogate which is great news and we are hoping to be able to try to make that happen in about 1 year from now. It is not recommended for me to carry my own child because of me being estrogen receptor and progesterone receptor positive. This is okay with me though, well at least today it is, as long as our baby is healthy. And remember we have 8 frozen embryos waiting on us!!! Some days though I am not as positive regarding this experience being taken away from me, but I really try to keep a positive outlook.
I did have a bone scan done last week but have not gotten the results. I do experience extreme fatigue and joint aches from time to time, but I am told to expect this for up to 1 year. So for now, I am just checking in with all my doctors about every 3 months and trying to keep my usual smile on my face.
Thank you again for your support, thoughts, and prayers.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Ch. 23 - My Port-a-Cathe is OUT!!
Ch. 23 - My Port-a-Cath is OUT!!
On 4/29/2008, Dr. Shirazi removed my port-a-cath. It feels sore, but good to be free of the device. It really did not give me any problems until someone bumped it by accident or when something rubs up against it, like my seatbelt or my husband at night. She actually removed it in her office which was great and convenient. I could feel the tugging as she removed it which was crazy, but fun at the same time. My body was so sore after the procedure from me tensing all of my muscles during the procedure. It felt like I had been lifting weights, my arms and legs were so sore. My scar will be small and hopefully will fade with time. But I do like have a few battle scars from all that I have been through.
As for life, I am recovering well. I did have a slight meltdown after treatment ended. I think when I got diagnosed, I put on my battle gear and went into war. Now that the war is over, my body and my mind needed a well deserved break!! So... my wonderful surgeon recognized my condition, maybe the uncontrolled crying in her office gave it away (who knows), but she did take me out of work for a month for recovery time. This time off has been the best medicine for me at this point in my life. I have had the chance to stop and smell the roses as everyone says and enjoy more time at home with my pets and Clayton. We have done some gardening projects together and watched a lot of movies in the evenings. I am also a big American Idol fan so that has also been fun to keep up with 2 nights per week.
On Monday, I return to work at the hospital on a part-time basis. I am looking forward to getting back to work and will enjoy the part-time hours for now. I have also been spending some time with a psychiatrist, Dr. Mikulsak. He has been great at helping me through this difficult time in my life and helping me to redirect my focus. I have a very giving personality and it has been hard for me to put my needs first and everybody else's second, but he has been helping me in this effort. It is a very difficult thing for me, but I am learning to like it the more I do it. Who wouldn't? Right?
But anyway, life is good and I am thankful to be getting past this cancer year and moving on. I did get a little bad news the other day regarding some lab work I had done. My ANA is positive. This CAN be an indicator of an autoimmune disease process. So... I have had follow-up blood work performed but do not know the results of this bloodwork yet. But as soon as I know, I will let you all know as well. I am hoping this is just another adverse effect of the chemotherapy and will resolve on its own. And, by the way, I got a period!!!!! So, I have also been able to put the nigtmare of going through menopause behind me as well. Yeah!!
Take care and continue with my blog. I enjoy my friends and family being able to follow along my journey with me. It has been great therapy.
On 4/29/2008, Dr. Shirazi removed my port-a-cath. It feels sore, but good to be free of the device. It really did not give me any problems until someone bumped it by accident or when something rubs up against it, like my seatbelt or my husband at night. She actually removed it in her office which was great and convenient. I could feel the tugging as she removed it which was crazy, but fun at the same time. My body was so sore after the procedure from me tensing all of my muscles during the procedure. It felt like I had been lifting weights, my arms and legs were so sore. My scar will be small and hopefully will fade with time. But I do like have a few battle scars from all that I have been through.
As for life, I am recovering well. I did have a slight meltdown after treatment ended. I think when I got diagnosed, I put on my battle gear and went into war. Now that the war is over, my body and my mind needed a well deserved break!! So... my wonderful surgeon recognized my condition, maybe the uncontrolled crying in her office gave it away (who knows), but she did take me out of work for a month for recovery time. This time off has been the best medicine for me at this point in my life. I have had the chance to stop and smell the roses as everyone says and enjoy more time at home with my pets and Clayton. We have done some gardening projects together and watched a lot of movies in the evenings. I am also a big American Idol fan so that has also been fun to keep up with 2 nights per week.
On Monday, I return to work at the hospital on a part-time basis. I am looking forward to getting back to work and will enjoy the part-time hours for now. I have also been spending some time with a psychiatrist, Dr. Mikulsak. He has been great at helping me through this difficult time in my life and helping me to redirect my focus. I have a very giving personality and it has been hard for me to put my needs first and everybody else's second, but he has been helping me in this effort. It is a very difficult thing for me, but I am learning to like it the more I do it. Who wouldn't? Right?
But anyway, life is good and I am thankful to be getting past this cancer year and moving on. I did get a little bad news the other day regarding some lab work I had done. My ANA is positive. This CAN be an indicator of an autoimmune disease process. So... I have had follow-up blood work performed but do not know the results of this bloodwork yet. But as soon as I know, I will let you all know as well. I am hoping this is just another adverse effect of the chemotherapy and will resolve on its own. And, by the way, I got a period!!!!! So, I have also been able to put the nigtmare of going through menopause behind me as well. Yeah!!
Take care and continue with my blog. I enjoy my friends and family being able to follow along my journey with me. It has been great therapy.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Ch. 22 - Radiation is OVER!!!
Ch. 22 - Radiatin is OVER!!!
Thank you to everyone who is continuing to read my blog and follow me through my journey!! Life got a little crazy going to radiation everyday and battling the side effects, so... it has been a little while since my last entry. The entire process was different to say the least. About 2-3 weeks into the treatment, my breast became very itchy and red. I tried any cream my doctor recommended for finally got some relief with a prescription pill by mouth and 2% hydrocortisone cream. I did not have any skin breakdown, but just tenderness, like a sunburn and the itching!! There were a couple of delays with my treatment due to a problem with the machine, but it only took a couple of days for the repair. I was not complaining because it gave my skin time to heal.
Since my last entry I have gotten a clean bill of health from my OBGYN. I have also graduated from radiation. I do have to have a mammogram to establish a baseline for post-treatment in about 2 months and also in about 2 weeks I will begin taking the Tamoxifen everyday. The only thing that I have left to do for my cancer is to have my port-a-cathe removed. This should happen this week, YEAH!!!. I may actually feel like a person again instead of a patient.
The odd thing about my current life is my emotional status. Now that treatment has ended, I have had time to reflect on my life and what just happened to me. I do not think reality sat in until just recently. I have cried a lot lately and am currently taking some time from work to take care of myself and treat myself to some time off. Although I would like to claim this idea as my own, it was actually recommended by my surgeon who stated that I needed time to heal and to "mourn" the loss of this period of my life. I guess it really has not been a loss, but a learning experience; however, when I think about things more, it does feel like a loss at times because I do feel cheated of a healthy life. I also feel like having cancer forced me into being a prisoner of my own body and medical care. For me, this has been the hardest of all and I fought it to the end. So now, my body and mind are telling me that it is time to rest a little and give myself a break, physicall and emotionally. I am also making attempts to lessen my work load and taking up a hobby. I have recently began to enjoy photography more and more and recently won a photography contest and was also published in a photography book. Throughout my life, I have always been a planner and lived with great drive and motivation. I still have the same drive, but hopefully with less intensity toward work and my committments and more intensity toward enjoying life more and living each day to the fullest!!
Again, in closing, I love you all and appreciate your support. I will keep you posted as major things occur in my life through the next phase of recovery.
Thank you to everyone who is continuing to read my blog and follow me through my journey!! Life got a little crazy going to radiation everyday and battling the side effects, so... it has been a little while since my last entry. The entire process was different to say the least. About 2-3 weeks into the treatment, my breast became very itchy and red. I tried any cream my doctor recommended for finally got some relief with a prescription pill by mouth and 2% hydrocortisone cream. I did not have any skin breakdown, but just tenderness, like a sunburn and the itching!! There were a couple of delays with my treatment due to a problem with the machine, but it only took a couple of days for the repair. I was not complaining because it gave my skin time to heal.
Since my last entry I have gotten a clean bill of health from my OBGYN. I have also graduated from radiation. I do have to have a mammogram to establish a baseline for post-treatment in about 2 months and also in about 2 weeks I will begin taking the Tamoxifen everyday. The only thing that I have left to do for my cancer is to have my port-a-cathe removed. This should happen this week, YEAH!!!. I may actually feel like a person again instead of a patient.
The odd thing about my current life is my emotional status. Now that treatment has ended, I have had time to reflect on my life and what just happened to me. I do not think reality sat in until just recently. I have cried a lot lately and am currently taking some time from work to take care of myself and treat myself to some time off. Although I would like to claim this idea as my own, it was actually recommended by my surgeon who stated that I needed time to heal and to "mourn" the loss of this period of my life. I guess it really has not been a loss, but a learning experience; however, when I think about things more, it does feel like a loss at times because I do feel cheated of a healthy life. I also feel like having cancer forced me into being a prisoner of my own body and medical care. For me, this has been the hardest of all and I fought it to the end. So now, my body and mind are telling me that it is time to rest a little and give myself a break, physicall and emotionally. I am also making attempts to lessen my work load and taking up a hobby. I have recently began to enjoy photography more and more and recently won a photography contest and was also published in a photography book. Throughout my life, I have always been a planner and lived with great drive and motivation. I still have the same drive, but hopefully with less intensity toward work and my committments and more intensity toward enjoying life more and living each day to the fullest!!
Again, in closing, I love you all and appreciate your support. I will keep you posted as major things occur in my life through the next phase of recovery.
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